Welcome to my last Chicago Cubs-related post of the year.
For the second season in a row, a really good Cubs team whiffed pathetically in the first round of the playoffs. Blame Lou Piniella, blame the Cubs players, blame the presence of the risible JIm Belushi (pictured above), blame Eddie Vedder's shitty Cubs song that sucks the energy out of every molecule it comes in contact with — they're all to blame in their own way. But to play like the best team in the NL all season long, get everyone's hopes up for the first Series championship in 100 years, and then to not even bother showing up for the playoffs... that takes a special kind of intrinsic suckitude. Carole likens it to buying tickets to a Ted Nugent show, only to find out that it's a Ted Nugent archery demonstration. I liken it to a full renal collapse. All I know is that I want to wipe my ass with my Cubs cap and then set it on fire.
Congratulations to the Dodgers, and to all my Dodger fan pals. They may not have been the better team on paper, but they were obviously the better team on the field, the team that wanted it more and played like they meant it. Right now, I'm hoping that the White Sox can somehow come back from their 0-2 deficit, and that we can get a rematch of the 1959 Dodgers-ChiSox Series.
This doesn't hurt as much as 2003, when the Cubs got so close to the World Series that you could taste it; but at least that 2003 team battled to the end, and didn't look like they were just waiting for someone to put them out of their misery. This isn't about curses; this is about displaying some cojones and intenstinal fortitude in pressure situations, and the Cubs playoff teams of the past two years just looked like scared little girls out there. Christ, even the Brewers managed to win a game yesterday. I'm not profoundly depressed, like I was in '03; I'm just profoundly disgusted. Thanks for nothing, assholes.
You and Cubs fans all over the world should thank god that at least this means that the Cubs will not suffer the embarassment of losing the 2008 World Series to the Tampa Bay Rays because some unlucky NL franchise will suffer that fate before the end of this month.
Posted by: Chris Perry | October 05, 2008 at 08:23 AM
Well, Chris, you're right - there IS that. Small comfort, that, but at least now I can get on with my life.
Posted by: Dan E | October 05, 2008 at 08:53 AM
It's definitely on Belushi.
Posted by: stu | October 05, 2008 at 10:56 AM
Sorry, man. The plight of the Cubs fan is very sad. I really thought they might break that curse this year. When this kind of thing happens, it makes you wonder why you even bother...
Posted by: Vinnie Park | October 05, 2008 at 02:55 PM
Best.Joke.Ever
So a guys walking down the street. He sees a friend of his approaching him, and his friend has a little band-aid on his forehead. And the guy goes, "Hey, what happened?" And the friend goes, "Oh my God, this was fucking nuts, man I was at this rooftop party, all right, on the 12th floor, sitting on the edge, a fucking huge gust of wind comes, blows me off the building Twelve stories up. Unbelievably, there are these two clotheslines about three stories down that break my fall. I sort of bounce over them, and end up hitting this awning, and then I bounce off the awning into this pile of mattresses, OK? And then I bounce off the pile of mattresses and get flung up another 20 feet in the air. Im like, "Oh, shit," but then I land on this open truck thats hauling marshmallows. And, you know, I scratched my forehead with my finger at one point." And the guys like, "Holy shit You must be the luckiest man alive" And his friend goes," No, no, no. Thats Jim Belushi."
Posted by: carole | October 05, 2008 at 02:55 PM
1. Blame Vedder
2. Tear down Wrigley
3. Profit!
Posted by: moondog | October 06, 2008 at 10:05 AM
According to Lou, it was the scouting...
http://www.salon.com/sports/daily/?last_story=/sports/daily/feature/2008/10/06/cubs/
Christ.
Posted by: Will | October 06, 2008 at 12:19 PM
It's too bad they didn't make it 'cause I heard this great joke - probably from a Sox fan, but here goes: How many Pussies does it take to flip over a car? I don't know, but we're gonna find out if the Cubs win the World Series.
Posted by: TomesoR | October 06, 2008 at 04:42 PM
I wish Piniella would grab Crane Kenney by the collar and drag him to Indiana and kick the shit out of him and that Greek Orthodox Priest that blessed the dugout before game one. Nothing like freaking-out your players right before a big game and making them feel like they can't do it alone. Asshole!
Posted by: TomesoR | October 06, 2008 at 04:46 PM