Last year, the Cubs "backed" into the NL Central title, sitting in the visitors clubhouse in Cincinnati and listening to the Brewers lose on the radio. This year, they won it outright, beating the hated Cardinals 5-4 in front of the home crowd at Wrigley. You can't get it much sweeter than that, especially when it means that this is the first time that the Cubs have gone to the post-season in back-to-back years since, oh, 1907-1908. Congrats, guys; you played hard all year, and you totally deserve the bubbly. Thanks for the great season so far.
Carole noted that neither of us were wearing our Cubs caps during Z's no-hitter or their division-clinching win, and so I believe baseball superstition dictates that we can't wear Cubs caps during the post-season. Or is it just that we can't wear our old ones? I briefly considered dropping the hammer on one of those special "Division Champions" caps the players donned in the locker room, but then I got a close-up look at 'em:
Who the fuck designs these things — Dane Cook? That scoreboard-shaped insignia is kinda cool, but the "stitch-on denim patch" construction is pretty crappy looking, to say nothing of that distracting and redundant MLB '08 logo on the fucking brim. (MLB logos don't belong on brims, ya bozos; they go on the back.) I'll probably just save my money for the one that says "NL Champions," anyway...
A word to Eddie Vedder about his much-vaunted new Cubs anthem, "Some Day We'll Go All The Way" — well, two words, actually: No thanks. Yes, Eddie, I know you love the Cubs and have a roomful of Cubs memorabilia; that's great. I also know that Ernie Banks supposedly "asked" you to write a song for the team; none of us did, though. (And with all due respect to the great Mr. Cub, he has probably asked the same thing of every musician he's ever met.) And while WXRT's Cubs-centric audience is apparently over the moon about your song, remember that they would've been just as psyched if the fucking BoDeans or Smithereens had written a Cubs number this year. Whenever someone semi-famous even acknowledges that Chicago exists, people in the Windy City absolutely lose their shit — "Wooo! Did you hear that? They're talking about US!!!" That's the way it's always been; don't think you've done them some kind of great service.
Mostly, though, I just really fucking resent the notion that I'm gonna have to listen to your mush-mouthed moaning — on a dull-ass dirge that makes the dopey "Go Cubs Go" sound like "Blitzkreig Bop" — during every game the Cubs play in October. I guess I'll have to put together a post-season playlist, heavy on the uplifting Chicago soul of the 60s and 70s, to help counteract your sonic pollution. With a little help from the not-so-soulful '69 Cubs, of course. Maestro, if you please...
When Mr. Vedder was in Chicago I had the thankless job of working hospitality for his two night stint. A special room was set aside for VIP guests which turned out to be tons of Cubs, their special ladies and Chris Chelios. My main task of the night was restocking the beer and liquor. All was stupid, all was drunk and I almost got clipped in the head with the Stanley Cup. Call me Shithook, cuz there was no tip - no thanks. I hate that song and wish a canker sore on the lot of em
Posted by: shithook | September 21, 2008 at 07:47 PM
Well THAT confirms every one of my suspicions right there...
Posted by: Dan E | September 21, 2008 at 09:06 PM
That Cubs Fever album of '69 is truly fantastic. There's nothing like it ever.
Posted by: stu | September 21, 2008 at 09:15 PM
Vedder's gonna F this up for you guys...
Posted by: moondog | September 22, 2008 at 10:04 AM
Bartman & Vedder...watch out
Posted by: Fred B | September 22, 2008 at 02:38 PM
Now if the Cubs could just sweep the Mets, helping the Phillies to the East and the Brewers to the wild card...
Posted by: Will | September 23, 2008 at 12:50 AM
I'm lighting candles and making certain offerings to my Leo Durocher shrine.
Posted by: jim saft | September 23, 2008 at 04:09 AM