Okay, this commercial is from 1980, but it's close enough — and after all, it features Luis Tiant, one of the most colorful hurlers of the '70s.
A big tip of the Monsanto toupee goes to Paul Sherman, who alerted me to the existence of this clip. Why anyone thought El Tiante would make a good TV pitchman is beyond me — it took me three viewings to completely decipher what he's saying — although, given the comparatively low salaries of players in the '70s and early '80s, I can almost believe that he was actually doing this for the free paint. Paul, who grew up in Boston, also adds:
"For some inexplicable reason, he used to "workout" in my high school gym (mid-1970s). You'd be there playing pickup basketball, and Luis would be doing (*very* slow) laps (must have been Dec/Jan, before spring training). It's not like he knew a gym teacher or something. We were all so awed and puzzled, I can't remember anyone actually talking to him."
Seriously — how amazing is that?!?